Friday, January 19, 2007
This Life Size Mirror
Exhausted week :-- Classes + LAN program ( im selected^^ )
- AsiaCyberGames preparation,GoodLuck ( January 20 and 21st )
- Assignment and Study for test no.2,last test is totally bullshit
- Shisha too much
Everyday is the same,not enought sleep..hMm and about 2moro,i got 2 nice things to do at the same times, but im not sure which 1 will choose.Its about ACG CS tournement or Broadband Survey ( payment for RM150 /wah ) ..and only i will decide 2moro before 10am,need to check all the schedule back..if the time still clash at all for sure i will decide to go for the ACG since i dowant to break any feelings for my friends :) RM150 cannot bring back friend hehehe..
And about this Monday,i need to wear formal to meet someone for LAN Program.JOKEEES! 1st time to wearing formal,hahah lucky got the cloth and just borrow a tie from my dad hehe,hope nothing annonying things will happen there.
Good Luck and Have Fun,Mr Aviator!
Posted by paopao at 6:27 PM
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Thursday, January 18, 2007
Separuh Hidupku
Title remind me for 1 nice song from Titi Dj and im sure from where that artist came from.The meaning and songs is kinda nice to hear,slow.Nothing much to do here.. just thinking to drop some few words over here,since bored and dunno what to do.So the best way is write down a stupid jokes or anything that playing in my mind, hehe..Im tired,my back bone still pain,anak tekaku juga sakit wuwuwu.. and now my gusi is so itchy because eating ikan bilis from nasi lemak.. grrrrrrrr! its irratating, feel like i want take a playa and cabut one of my teeth -.-"
New week for me just begin, and im trying to find back everything that im lost for few months,its my education and also life! dun give up.Nothing much change about me, maybe is about the feeling,since someone there didnt feel ok with my feelings.Alhamdulillah i can move on and take it open! ..even im here still disappointed with what u try to telling me, i just take it easy, because i know u dowant it happen and same with me here,just to remind u.. feelings is not a toy that we can turn it around that easy,we need a time.. something that playing in my mind about the msg,it could be some advice from your friend or maybe someone there is already try to make you hate about me,what can i say is whatever..because the last decision is from you :) ..and its make me really2 disappointed and hard to forgive about it! thanks for everything.. and for sure there u already dunno who am i,since u told me that its hard to be my friend,huh 1st time happen in my life.. its sound like we should break our friendship, remember..friendship and relantionship couple is the different things.This is the way u choose and i need to accept.Rezza in your life is already dead.
Oh ya..stop for talking about my past? this weekend should be a AsianCyberGames qualifier,at Cineleisure, Mutiara Damansara what i hope there is try our best to be the best.Lets get ready to rumble, what i can help there for my friends is boost their spirit and win more ^^.Good Luck to Avid - Mikey, Andrew - Zeal, Sinjean - Supermassive, Simon - TopGun as my team and dont forget to all teams! Enjoyzz your game kengkawanku.
Ahah..this few days i feel like im changing something in my life..i be more strict and decide more about everything,im happy because something there changign,but im not sure whether correct or not lol,hehe because anyone is not perfect?What else ya,i got 2nd chance to retake my exam on math paper, since my mark is totally sux!thanks cik nabilah..huhu and i should study it abit more..all the best to me again! rezza is always alone to cheer up his spirit back since heh?
Shxt youtube is still cannot open with IP 124.x.xx.xxx ..grrr i need to upload some song here bah!LyricalExpression.. any comment can drop by here or msn yo! because im learning..Avid,Mikey thanks alot for the advice and suggestion to me,while thinking back its kinda true about life,what can i do for the past is just smile back to me ^_^ Have a Nice Day Everyone!
Posted by paopao at 6:41 AM
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Sunday, January 14, 2007
It's Dejavu ?
I wont forgive for what she has been done to me last nite.I get shocked when im read that kind of message.Whatever i has been done and show to you'r not to get any seeking of sympathy but i just respect you so much as my special best girl friend and i dunno that cannot u accept it.I know that i bother your life when ur doing something and u will get anonnyed,especially when ur doing your work and assignment.I din ask for more,just hear my little problem for a while.By the way,its correct what i dreamt last 2 night straight..the message is exactly same for what happen now,God still loves me..when pray and i need a answer,Allah show it to me.Alhamdulillah,this is the 1 of the part make my mind take it open.
Damansara Perdana,for the view and chilling place with Shoux
Friendster,i will open Myspace soon lol
Im sorry if my attitude make you feeling not comfortable with me, and yes its true.Honestly,I didnt ask for you to come back or choose me now.What i want is just we be a close friend as we can that know each other enough and through its was true when u told me that last time.But too bad,im wrong.Im disappointed with you,choose the best way to stop our relantionship as a friend.
- Crying is..utterly pointless. It makes you look like a fool to someone.
- I feel so misunderstood most of the time. Whenever I try to explain myself to someone, people take me wrongly because I can't help but use the wrong words. And I fear so much of that.
- When I'm trying to be selfless, people make me feel like they think I'm selfish.
- I wanna make everything right, but everything's going wrong..
- I totally disguise my feelings, despite how it's just like the roller-coaster ride.
Yeah? whatever happen around me,nothing gonna change the feeling.. India Lima Oscar Victor Echo Uniform, PILOT and PATRICIA forever!Have a Nice Day.Somehow i try my best go far away since someone is already hated me around.
Fever is around me now,Bravo~
Posted by paopao at 5:37 PM
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Saturday, January 13, 2007
DJ Mix,Special Feel = Cinta ?!
The Best picture Ever for me,Its Me and Patricia <3
I Love this old picture of you with your sister Felicia
Dj Mix,Green Apple Flavour!
Tired for swimming..but it fun,i wish 1 day i got my own swimming pool like azahar's house hehe..Dj Mix? lol sound like some Dj techno or trance rite ? btw its a cigaratte name..friend bought from langkawi.Its iced green apple flavour XD ..menthol rofl.Tomorow is the last paper for mid sem exam,i think im gonna get a bad result for this semesta,so hard to concentrate..everyday try my best,but something that happen to me still around of my mind..its my own mistake.
I need to be strong and stronger more..its the time to show to her soon.Last nite i dreamt about her,but the message is not really clear,but i still remember some..the message is sound like she try to make me jelous and go abit far from me,but i hope that was just a mainan tidur for me.I straight wake up and sad,wash my face and legs..try to slept back,but i cannot..sayang dont go far and leave me alone here.
I dunno she dowant this all things happen,but loves is too blind and too deep at all and im also the 1dowant any bad things happen btw urs,maybe this is just a trial to me to go more far for my future,nth much to do rite now.. i need to study smart as i can to get what i want soon.By the time i always still need someone behind me to cheer me up =/ im that person.. oh my im so bad :(
Back for a few days ago,memories my life and with my sayang..since i cannot online for quite long and today i want to type everything,my connection has been fixed by streamyx guy on last Wednesday.There is something funny,fun,happy,sad,touched and many more things happen with her.
1st memory happen on that Monday is she calling me in the morning to wake up me.Im too scared to faced that morning because it was a exam day.Im scared im gonna late and my preparation so little, and the nite around 5am before slept i send sms to her and she still here to help me.She called me for 3times, and i wake up answered her call.She told me to "wake up..u got exam today, dont be late" and i said ok,im so touched about that sayang.Thanks for that sayang if not comfrim i will be late or might be not wake up!My day become more happy..even my some of my friend can see that,coz i laugh and smile alot huh!
Around that afternoon, after i finished doing my exam.. i sms and wanted to see her because im really2 miss everything about her..and few minute after that i got reply,she was at KLCC and i thought she with her few friends,but not.. she was alone,i straight turn back from my way and go to KLCC with a happy heart :) ..xoxo i reach there 45minute after that,i meet her at the cinema,1st thing when i saw her is want to hug her, but it not could be :( ..im really2 miss her so much.. and i dunno when i can hug her back,i miss that sayang..the feel so deep.Not thah longer after we meet up, we go genki for lunch..its nice place to eat anyway,nice green tea made by you,wanted to ask more from u.. but im shy :$.Its remind me back when the 1st time we go mamam at Kenny Rogers,u feed a salad to me.. and i miss that,i wanted to do to you when that time we mamam together,but something still not ok and i still respect you,because ur someone gf.
Genki Sushi for our lunch and Cinta movie for chilling,touched..thanks for that sayang
The day was so pretty nice and beautiful with you sayang, whats next? ..we watched movie called "CINTA" and her fav. actor Sharifah Armani acting in that movie.She enjoy watching that movie, she laugh until 1 whole cinema can hear that...sayang did u know that ? but im smile to see when ur laugh :D mean ur enjoy watching.Until the sad and touched part,i want to hug you..i was touched too and cry.But i failed to do that to you again.Its the 1st time we watching movie together and u choose the awesome movie,and i was lucky to what that movie with you because i just mention to watch it a few day before.
The movie finish around 5 something, and we straight go back.. wow the road is quite pack,we stuck but not that longer.I reach Jasmine Tower around 6 something and i straight going to rounding at ss2 for eating.But failed, pack with cars and peoples..there is pasar malam nite lah! haha.. u turn and go to Daroos Uptown,chill a while there and eating capati, some of my fav food ^^.I get shocked when i received sms from you again sayang, that u want to yumchar with me and wifi together..the day become more happy and my heart follow happy,sayang.But she wanted me to wait her a while for dinner at home with mum.She is nice daughther,and she is too perfect for me.Im sorry to hurt u.
Starbucks,Center Point was our next sweet destination for yumchar and wifi.Oh god she tied her hair, she look cute and fresh.I told her she is cute,but seem like she didnt hear that because something was happen around there.Sayang i hope u read my blog soon,that night was raining..we wanted to Wifi at Mcd since she dream to eat Strawbery Milk Shake,but the cashier said "tarak" lol :( ..and she asking me, i want anything.. then im said.. har "u know what?" she still remember my fav food my McD.. Apple Pie T_T ,sayang thanks for that Apple Pie..we back to our plan to chilling at starbucks,we odered Mocha with milk and sit at the midle of corner.She on the laptop for Wifi and surfing everything and mostly her msn and hotmail.I was away for a while to toilet and finding some shop for flower,wanted to buy it before i fetch her.. but rounding all over Damansara Utama and Uptown no shop selling a flower and i give up.But lucky god,around the CenterPoint selling cute and small flower,3 stalks of red roses that meaning I LOVE YOU!,i back to the place from behind and try to supprise her,and im too bad didnt mention to her why i give her the flowers.I hope u know the meaning sayang.Im sorry didnt tell u that sayang,i will do that next time again,i will make u to trust and confident me back..i wont give up to show my True Love to you,because i really2 mean it!She continue back to surfing,and she mention to me that she trying to send her tshirt design to lecturer,but no respond and next busy with chatting and keep asking me wether im boring or not,i wont boring with you sayang,i want to spend all my life with u and be mine forever :( ..but there i know,am i as a boy i need to find a better job for my future girl,to make her proud,confident and trust alot to me..i will slowly moving to be all that just for my sayang and my family.Pray and wish me good luck about that.Back to the story..she enjoying talking with her friends, since quite long didnt online.. sayang,i wish we can always be together like that,this time i will bring my own laptop to kacau u :P ..for an hour we was there,and suddenly her bf ws online.. and u appear offline,i saw everything.. im sorry if i bother u at this time,din mention in my heart to do that so.I know u want to do some happy things with him, but i was there..im so sorry.In the middle of chatting with all of her friends,she told me something about her cousin,but she didnt too close with him..talking about your dad picture rite,she spend alot of chatting time with Jas and lixin.A while then,i wanted to hear some song and back to my car.Wow she just bought a new ipod,its nice.The 1st song was i singing for her is collide,that song left some memories about urs,do u still remember that ?i couldnt believe that i can sing that song and just for u >.< ..and that is my 1st time singing song for people,and i feel sweet im singing for the person that i LOVE,Goh Mui Yit.Thanks for your apple pie,i ate as my breakfast :)
Time jelous with urs,she need to go back.The next day was her 1st day for college after break for 1month,and me too for exam.But i feel we just sat there for quite a while.Sayang i want to chilling with u again for so long as we can.But i would to say thanks alot to spend a time with me,u make my day fully with a nice history and until today and forever i wont forget everything and i dowan to forget it.Ur too perfect for me!..Hmm we leaving from Starbucks to carpark,and when that time we walking at the stairs,i wish i can hold your hand,scared u will falling down since your sandal always make u to do that :( but i still got no chance to do that..the time still not for me.Oh shit we still cannot go out because havent settle the ticket >.< ..the parking is free,but need to scan 1st from the machine..a while im going to the tiket place,she was at the car.. and im too worried to leave u there,after i back..i saw u was sleeping,sorry to make u wait until sleepy...i can see your tired face,eee at last i can see how sweet your face when ur sleeping,but i got no chance to snap picture.. grrrrr!
A few minute then we reached Jasmine Tower, and i start to talking something about urs again,its kinda hard for me to forget everything.Im sorry if i make u sad again..im too weak after thinking back,what i want is you always or sometimes be at my side to listen to my story.Until when we talked at one part of urs last time,and she makes me sad and hurt so much at the time,air mata ku terus menitik..when she said she cannot guarantee that i will come back to her again,she lost the trust..but why im the one here always can keep believe and trusting in everything.Isit im too stupid,i think im not..because of my nature.Im trusted you alot sayang,did u know that last time im fighting with my friends because of you,they said im just a stupid and bullshit people who trust love from the internet.But the meaning trust there make me believe that ur really2 love me,i wont care what people gonna talk about me..Im hurt so much.
*1617PM*
Today is the day my parents went back from Makkah,too bad i didnt celebrate them at KLIA.Wanted to go,but i was dumb..brain fully with bad things.Im sorry Ayah and Mama make both of them sad,i didnt mean it at all.Rezza u should wake up faster to go on with your dream,Yes im doing that..but i always down at the moment.Even today im done my last paper for exam,but i feel im gonna failed all papers i guess,since i cannot concentrate at all.Im crying at the hall.Finished all the question that what i can do and straight went back for sleep.Im scared to sleep last time,scared to go on with a bad dream.But im wrong,at last in the afternoon i slept..and i dreamt something bad again,its about Patricia and Clax.The message is something like both of them is happy together,and im who the one there admire Patricia again and again.Until the one part,i was fighting with her bf.. but at last i was mengalah to him, at let them go.Ya Allah,whats the message trying to send to me ?isit something bad or good soon.
To complete my day,i would like to say thanks you very very the much to my Love Goh Mui Yit,Patricia for spend a time with me again,1 day with who will give me a great history in my life.Im sorry again if hurt you.Sayang i will always try my best to be storger and more to go on with my life.Thanks for the advice and spirit..but im very sure i will make u trust,confident and proud of me.Hopefully it work for you to be happy back with me because im rite here still waiting about you."Ya Allah,kuatkan lah semangat hamba mu ini untuk mencapai cita-citanya dan kekalkan la persahabatan kami hingga ke akhir hanyat jikalau dia benar-benar untuk hidup ku ini,hamba mu ini yang amat lemah mengharap pertolongan daripada kerana hanya engkau sahaja seorang yang dapat membantu ku,selain daripada jawapan dari isi hati dan akal fikirannya"
The End,I Love My PILOT and PATRICIA FOREVER!
Letter from her,long time ago and Dvd from her
p/s : broken english was detected,wanted to mixed up songs,but i cannot open youtube.com webby -.- history and memories for my live ever!
Posted by paopao at 12:28 AM
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Friday, January 12, 2007
SAD - Sad Alone and Depressed
Huh the line of internet still fuck up,some of the website still cannot open,its make my day bored to type everything in this blog.Hard to do everything..still alot of important either sad,alone,happy or anything in my mind to write down here.. but the internet doesnt like me.Just hope everything will be ok,gtg now.. realize my tension for swimming,my sayang Patricia..im still waiting everything from you, call and sms.. Miss you so much alot! Hope u doing well and better there,i will waiting here for you.Posted by paopao at 8:41 PM
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Monday, January 8, 2007
The Call
...is too meaningful,thanks for calling and awake me up sayang,i appreciate it...if not for sure i will be late.The 1st thing out after i open my eyes and see your call.. i was crying,i dunno why.. it happen without a thinking, and for sure the reason there is im glad to still have u around and im for sure also there my love for you is still deep.I got go to go now,and happy good luck to me.. and i hope u will visit my blog soon,thanks again sayang..take a good care,i will try my best to answer it and nothing gonna change my loves to you forever and ever.
The worry and nervous is still with me..i feel like i want to hug and cry on you.. and hope everything will be okay..Time Stand Still ?
......the lyric will be upload soon,i gtg for exam now.. iron my cloth *_*
Posted by paopao at 9:37 AM
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Sunday, January 7, 2007
confused over and over again
Huh today i wake up and i though was Monday, and the first thing out of my mind is exam..check my phone haihz its only 12.30pm Sunday lah hahaha.. padan muka kena tipu! lol.. wake up and straight online,chatting with 2 important friend.Hahaha its about love and life.Ah i still confuse here,since my friend said that 1 of his friend just joined the cadet pilot program for airasia just working there for a month before join the program, wow he so lucky and easy to get the dream.. and i quit my job there and continue my study just to get my approval letter from Department of Civil Aviation, and he is so easy entering that program, huh maybe that was his way.Everything come from god, i just remember that.
Nvm i will try my best to go in any flying academy asap, always be passion..because everything happen,happen for a reason.Bravo Bravo Bravo.. 69 going out to KL 1st..Have a Nice Day Everybody
Posted by paopao at 2:20 PM
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Saturday, January 6, 2007
The Explaination
Day after day,im waiting for something that i want to know..and today Saturday,i got the answer because someone is asnwered it.Crying and sad over me,hopeless and despressed again and again.I hope that was the true answer and no lies behind me.Everything i learn today hopefully will be better the next day.I live and i learn, its im stupid? ..should be maybe or should be not,because everyone is not perfect and everything came from Allah, and i need to received it open with my mind and always thinking positive.
I think its enough for me to falling to something called LOVE,because im too weak to handle and will down until a 0% ..im weak on this kind of situation,and what i told it to myself last time is correct,go for your dream 1st because i know i cannot handle 2 things in 1 times.Im weak, rezza ur weak.. and no need to act that u can handle it..and now i admit.
I cry and sad too much about girl more than my dreams to be The Aviator..both are feeling, but there is 2 different things and i cannot loves anyone else than my family,friends and ambition.Allah if im correct for what i choose to be,go on with it..
Its over random guy! good luck to myself for Monday exam paper..wish the year will be more meaningfull life and the best year for me.Journey to be The Aviator still there,im proud to be myself and im give up about love, and i hope i will only find that after my dream come true,"YaAllah Ya Tuhanku,jauhkan daku dari semua itu...hambamu ini hanya berharap dapat mencapai cita-citanya dan membanggakan kedua ibubapanya, Amin" -- crying
Meant To Live
Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bid for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly
[Chorus]
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken
[Chorus]
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live